Friday, January 4, 2008

she's home!

she's home. we are loving it and going crazy and pinching ourselves.

I'm exhausted and I'm going to try to catch a nap between feedings while Kie stays up and peeks through her door.

Thursday, January 3, 2008

The big news.....

Sophie has been doing so well, getting bigger and stronger every day. She eats really well from a bottle and is slowly learning to breastfeed - though she needs to get bigger to get the endurance to keep going. With all of the progress she has made, and the amount of time she has been in hospital, we finally heard the news we wanted to hear.

Sophie is coming home tomorrow.

(let me say that again so it sounds real to me)

Sophie is coming home tomorrow.

I keep trying to not get too excited, because after everything I've seen and felt and all of the ups and downs --I just don't want to add any disappointment if anything doesn't pan out. But she only needs her car seat test and an apnea monitor in order to be discharged tomorrow - her original due date.

I keep trying to imagine what it would have been like if none of this had happened and if I had gone full term and she was actually born now. I wonder if I would be as incredibly ecstatic to bring her home. I wonder if I would appreciate our amazing families as much as I do now. I wonder if I would have chosen the same colour for her bedroom and I wonder if I would appreciate what a miraculous gift she is as much as I do now.

Being at the end of the NICU road and at the beginning of a whole new one, I can't help but take a minute to look back at the craggy pass we just got through and wonder how it all happened. I didn't know that I had the strength to do what needed to be done and to see the things that I saw. I didn't know that I had the patience to wait...and wait......wait......wait. I didn't know that I would be able to appreciate this experience and see it for the good it has made in my life.

We all would like to thank every single person who has shared their love and support for us over this past 3 months. We (Kie, Sophie and I) are stronger only because you all shared your strength with us. We couldn't have done this without you guys. Thank you all so very very much.

I don't know what to expect with a newborn in the house. I mostly just think that I have absolutely no idea what it will actually be like. I just know that this is the beginning of something really amazing. I am sure I will keep writing, and I hope you will all keep reading, and keep sharing in our girl, our Sophie Sunshine.